CHEATING: If he’ll do it with you, will he do it to you?

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Unless you’re living under a rock, you’ve heard the explosive news this week. Angelina Jolie has filed for divorce from Brad Pitt.

Brad and Angelina, affectionately called Brangelina, were Hollywood’s IT couple.

Sexy, powerful, and parents to six children, not only were they Hollywood’s hottest couple, they seemed like they would go the distance. Twelve years together, the last two married, no one expected the bombshell that rocked the world this week.

While we may never know all of the details, we do know that Angelina was the one to file for divorce. Sources say she was quite upset with Brad for some of his behaviour, and that she had a detective follow him in London to see if he was cheating on her during the filming of Allied. The rumor mill has been buzzing with the news that Brad has been having an affair with his current co-star, Marion Cotillard. According to a source,

Brad is “…in the throes of some insane midlife crisis, and Angie is fed up.”

Apparently, the detective confirmed Angelina’s worst fears. It appears as though Brad has done to Angelina exactly what he did with her over a decade earlier—cheated. While married to Jennifer Aniston, Brad and Angelina started a hot and heavy love affair during the filming of Mr. & Mrs. Smith. The much speculated on and publicized affair led to Brad leaving Jennifer for Angelina.

Brad Pit and Marion Cotillard in mover Allied- (Photo/illuminessencemag)

Brad Pit and Marion Cotillard in movie Allied- (Photo/illuminessencemag)

Which leads to question: if he’ll do it with you, will he do it you?

I’ve always maintained that the answer to that question is yes.

Sure, your marriage may be falling apart, but the best thing to do is be honest and leave your spouse instead of cheating. Though by all accounts, it seemed as though Brad was happily married to Jennifer before falling for the younger seductress. Which is worse, in my opinion, than cheating because you’ve drifted apart.

To simply cheat because you’re turned on by someone else while otherwise happily married tells me that kind of person will cheat again when temptation strikes.

Of course, twelve years after getting together, people thought that Brangelina had made it. We forgave Brad for his infidelity, believing that perhaps his biggest issue with Jennifer Aniston was that she wasn’t ready to have children. Who can fault a person for leaving a marriage when two people don’t want the same thing? One person not wanting children is a huge hurdle to overcome.

But if after having it all, and with a woman seen as Hollywood’s most beautiful star, Brad cheated again—then he’s proven that he just can’t be trusted. And unfortunately, Angelina was stung by the very same action she committed with Brad—infidelity. An argument for karma could certainly be made here.

There’s no doubt that Angelina is hurt, just as Jennifer was hurt when Angelina had a torrid affair with her husband . But what’s worse this time around is that there are six children involved.

Jolie-Pitt family- (Photo/illuminessencemag)

Jolie-Pitt family- (Photo/illuminessencemag)

I’ll never understand why someone will risk the happiness of their family for sexual gratification. It doesn’t make any sense to me. There’s just too much at stake with children involved, but it seems that libidos override common sense.

I’ve asked this question of people before—should you really trust the person you’ve cheated with? Sure, your chemistry must be off the charts (isn’t it always when it’s a illicit love affair?), but can you trust a person who has so little respect for his or her spouse that he or she will cheat with someone else?

I know, I know, people can change. But life experience has taught me that change is slow coming.

So personally, I never would trust a cheater (unless the circumstances were compelling enough that I could understand that level of disrespect, and I’m not sure those circumstances exist!). Then again, I wouldn’t get involved with a married man. There’s no way I’d want to be Marion Cotillard in this situation, the cause of breaking up a family. Can you imagine the hate she’ll get now? Six children and twelve years of marriage is a serious union. As much as I can’t understand a spouse who will risk family for sex, I’ll also never understand the woman who would want to destroy a happy home.

Unfortunately, despite the years of happiness and raising a number of children together, Brad has proven that if he’ll do it with you, he’ll do it to you. A person who cheats instead of leaving has no respect for his or her partner, and that should tell you something.

Sadly, Angelina should have known better. But she made the mistake that many an “other” person has made—she no doubt felt that her connection to Brad was so strong he was compelled to cheat, instead of seeing his cheating as indicative of his character and future behaviour.

I’m definitely saddened to see the demise of this relationship, because it seemed they were going to survive despite their scandalous start. Having had a cheating spouse too, I know the pain that brings.

But the downfall of this power couple should be a warning to us all.

Never trust someone who’s cheated (either with you or someone else) while married. Chances are that no matter how much time passes, one day, he or she will also cheat on you.

Kayla Perrin is an internationally acclaimed, award-winning USA Today and Essence best-selling author, with 46 books in print. Perrin is best described as passionate, fearless, motivated and self-driven to excel at whatever she pursues.

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