When a Man Loves a Woman

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Well, it’s happened. The Obamas are officially out of the White House. Eight Years have passed far too quickly!

To say that being a President is a tough job is an understatement, and Barack Obama certainly had his share of trials and tribulations as he fought to see his policies passed. During his last weeks in office, he was the epitome of grace and dignity, even among some horrible allegations from critics and Trump supporters.

But what struck me most as Obama’s final term was coming to a close was his enduring love for his wife and his family. During his last speech, when he addressed Michelle, he was moved to tears. Every time he has spoken about her or to her, his love has radiated through.

She’s his wife, his boo, his best friend, his ride or die. Eight years of running the country seems to have made their relationship stronger, not weaker. And as America’s first Black First Family, they set an example of what love—and especially Black Love—really is.

Far too often, we hear the negative about Black love. The fathers who are absent, the “baby mama drama.” I’ll never forget, years ago when I was doing a book signing in the States, a White woman asked me, “do Black people love the same way White people do?” It was a startling question, but it epitomized the reality that far too many non-Blacks simply do not view Black people as having the same kinds of emotion, ability, strength, and intelligence as they do. In part, we can blame the media for this.

Portrayals of happy Black families have been hard to find (with some exceptions). So President Obama being in the White House was not only important historically, but to show America—and the world—what a normal, loving, successful Black family looks like.

Not a family where the siblings are half and there is one or more “baby mama” in the mix (like the new President—honestly, can you imagine what people would’ve had to say if Barack Obama had a few baby mothers as Donald Trump does?). But a family where the mother and father met while in school for higher education and clicked. And fell in love. And became a team. And became a family. And then became a legacy.

And the Obamas certainly did show us exactly what a normal, loving, successful family looks like—regardless of race! I can’t help but feel sad now that the Obamas are returning to regular civilian life. Michelle was undoubtedly a rock in the family—and she had to be. Not only to keep her children grounded, but to face the harsh criticism that she was too strong. It’s so unfair to complain that a Black woman who is smart, loving, and articulate is too strong. That really irks me. I can only imagine that she’s happy to be able to reclaim her “regular” life now— whatever “regular” can actually be at this point. But whatever that life looks like, I know that it is going to be filled with a lot of love. The kind of love that sustains you through anything.

The love that Barack has for his wife shines through his eyes every time he looks at her.

It’s the kind of love I envy, because I want that in my own life. It’s the kind of love that gives me hope, because there was no hint of any scandal that would mar it. No, with Barack Obama we got a man who showed nothing but love and commitment for his wife and family. They were always number one for him.

I remember a comment that Whoopi Goldberg made on The View when President Obama was originally elected. She said that you knew there was going to be a lot of sex in the White House! Everybody laughed, and everybody knew it was true. Unlike with some older presidents, you just knew there would be a lot of flirtatiousness and sexiness filling that house. The way it should be!

So here’s to Barack Obama showing everyone what it looks like when a man loves a woman. Because when you see that love, you can’t help but envy it. Not because you want to steal it from the two who possess it. But because it gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling inside and lets you know that anything is possible if you’ve got that special kind of love.

Kayla Perrin is an internationally acclaimed, award-winning USA Today and Essence best-selling author, with 46 books in print. Perrin is best described as passionate, fearless, motivated and self-driven to excel at whatever she pursues.


  1. rpatel@live.ca'

    Ricky Patel

    February 15, 2017 at 3:59 pm

    Hi Glynn,

    We are deeply saddened by your loss. Indeed, your love with Nadine was equally special and admirable. May she rest in peace. Wishing you courage and strength during this sad time. We mourn with you.

  2. sc4302002@gmail.com'

    Glynn Green

    February 14, 2017 at 10:47 pm

    Love this article Kayla…I expect that May-Marie conveyed to you the terrible news of the death of my dear Nadine at 47 of liver cancer. Our love was an example of love without colour, just 2 people who found each and fell in love. May God bless her and keep her in his arms.

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